1. Interrupting conversations.
Remember being five, and when your parents were talking to other grownups you’d walk overmid-conversation, tug on their shirts and repeatedly call, “Mom/Dad?” Yeah — that wasimproper then — but you were five, so it was fathomable. Some people are incapable ofcomprehending the notion of waiting their turn to speak. When this happens, utilize thesarcastic old saying: “I apologize, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning ofyours?”
2. Poor hygiene.
As kids we often abhorred the concept of cleanliness. We relished wearing the same grass-stained, smelly pants for as long as possible. The thought of bathing made us shiver in ourVelcro strapped shoes. Now, it’s a different story. It’s remarkable how many folks out thereseem to think that deodorant is optional. I mean, technically it is but it shouldn’t be. They needlaws enforcing this. If the pungent aroma of your body odor is burning nostrils, and causingeyes to water, you should receive some type of ticket. Stink needs repercussions just as muchas loitering does.
With the massive rise of ignorant and disrespectful individuals populating the world — verbalspats and altercations are inevitable. Contrary to popular belief, screaming obscenities andpuffing your chest out as friends hold you back, doesn’t reek of badass-ness. In fact, it looksrather foolish. If you consider the end result of a fight, is it ever good? Let’s consider thepossible outcomes:
You win the fight. Receive some high fives. It ain’t UFC, so you won’t get a paycheck oranything. And now you’ve made an enemy (or enemies).
The cops come. You get arrested, which means fines, jail-time, etc.
You hit the other person in the wrong spot, accidentally doing significant and permanentdamage. Now you’re screwed.
The opponent hits you in the wrong spot, putting you on the receiving end of some seriousdamage. Now you’re screwed.
You lose. Everyone witnessed you getting your ass kicked, and now you’re ashamed.
They pull out a weapon and stab or shoot you. While I’ve never been stabbed or shot, I hear itstings much worse than your ego would after simply walking away from a physicalconfrontation.
4. Social networking your relationship.
It’s such a stereotypically high school thing to do. Notifying Facebook every time you and yoursignificant other have a squabble is a perfectly idiotic combination of obnoxious andimmature. Couples’ quarrels are normal, but your friends/family shouldn’t be alerted abouteach one of them via Tweets and status updates. Yes, that includes the oh-so-subtle, back-and-forth song lyrics and quotes that are clearly projected at each other. Honestly it makesyour relationship look shitty, and all of us wish you’d break up.
5. Mispronouncing pronounceable words.
Calling spaghetti “pasquetti” isn’t cute anymore. Speech impediments are one thing, but babytalk in an attempt to be adorable should stop entirely.
6. Picking your nose.
Seriously, just grab a tissue. If I walk in a room and you jerk your hand away from your face,then begin to roll something between your index finger and thumb, I know you’re guilty.
By now you’ve likely experienced enough scenarios not going your way, to take a loss andkeep things moving. Throwing fits, breaking stuff, screaming, and having an attitude when thegoing gets tough isn’t going to solve anything. Circumstances may cause rough patches, butbattle them head on. Don’t sulk and act like a bratty toddler, having an outburst in the store’cause their parents didn’t buy ’em what they wanted. Also, breaking objects is a bad habit.You’ll regret throwing and damaging your phone, or punching a hole in the wall once the angerwears off.
8. Sending friends to talk to girls for you.
I remember sending my friend over to ask a girl for her phone number. She gave a firm, “No,”and stated that if I wanted to approach her, I needed to do it myself. Mind you, this was infifth grade. If a girl who hadn’t reached her teens yet recognized a cowardly act, surely grownwomen will. Just man up, and go for it. The only thing worse than getting rejected is having tobe informed of said denial by a middleman.
9. High school festivities.
If you’re 20+ years of age, you should not be asking things like, “Yo, where the graduationparties at?!” Let it go. You had your four years to shine. The same thing goes for ex-athleteswho attend games and critique the current team — attempting to relive their glory days.Move on, find a hobby, and live a grown-up life.